Saturday, July 23, 2011

Baby steps with Destiny

Adoption is a process of steps, one small step at a time. This week we have made several steps, and we are in the middle of waiting for the next. I guess we have been in the middle of waiting for the next steps since we started the adoption journey about nine months ago (yes people have pointed out the similarity in timing between our adoption journey and a pregnancy).
Almost three weeks ago now we took the gigantic step of getting matched with a birthparent. I guess S (the birthmother) took that step for us, but we are all too happy to go with her. Then Monday we got word that the next step was happening: S was in labor and the baby was arriving. So we drove to Delaware, and we were at the hospital only a few hours after the baby was born. We got to see S and the baby in her room, and we stayed with her most of the day. S wanted us there Tuesday morning, so we went up and spent most of the morning with her and the baby.
Tuesday afternoon we took the next step, which was to finish our placement paperwork with the social worker her in Delaware. Wednesday afternoon was hard because S's emotions were more volitile, and as a result we started feeling like the certainty of the adoption was suddenly not so certain. We left the hospital after doing the paperwork with the goal of getting to the next step: discharge from the hospital for S and the baby. At that point we would have custody of Destiny and could really start being mommy and daddy to our little girl.

Wednesday we were at the hospital again early because S needed help managing the baby, especially because her six-year-old son had been brought to the hospital and was also in her room and had been there most of the previous night and morning. The experience probably solidified her decision to allow us to adopt Destiny, but it did cause some awkward moments while we were there on Wednesday. The nurses and hospital social worker came through to do the hospital paperwork for discharge, and we got some pointers on parenting a newborn. The discharge came, and it was as emotional as expected. But at the end of the day we had Destiny with us at the hotel, her sole guardians and -- for all practical purposes -- officially her parents.

So we have been here in the hotel since Monday and here with Destiny since Wednesday. We have at least two more days, and likely three or four, before the next step occurs. That step is getting permission from Delaware and Virginia to take Destiny across state lines and to our home. It cannot come soon enough. We miss our cats and the comforts of our home, but mostly we need the space to stretch out and we need the "village" of our friends and church.

Destiny is such a blessing to us! Step by baby step Destiny joins our family.



Post a Comment

<< Home